I was at the bus stop last night,
I turned around and saw an elderly lady sitting,
She said, “Come here young one.”
I could see the pain in her eyes,
With regret filling them as she continues with her life.
She started to speak without hesitation,
“I regret it, I regret it,
I lived my life like I was a fool,
Baby girl, stay focus,
Stay in school,
People will let you down,
Your job will let you down,
But your education and skills will always help you back up.
Don’t follow the crowd,
They will always be there.
Stay focus on your grind, your success is near.”
I remained silent, sometimes it’s the best solution.
Then she said, “I regret it, I regret it,
Baby girl, please go hard in your 20s,
Write that business plan,
Buy that house,
Start a family, so you don’t have to end up being alone.
Respect others, you might need them in the future,
Keep up your appearance,
Your looks do matter.”
The bus came,
I told her goodnight.
I looked through the mirror and saw her fading.
I can’t believe it,
It was a warning,
Not from a stranger,
But from myself,
Being 87 years old, broke and lonely,
With bad health.
Look in a mirror, and analyze yourself,
Do you like the direction your life is heading?
If not, do something about it now.
I hardly get any water,
but people don’t see that.
They judge me from my roots to head,
speaking how I looked withered.
When I asked them to passed me a cup water,
they came up with excuses,
I was dying,
scarred with bruises.
I was determing,
I needed to survive,
I arched my head towards the sun,
I needed that light.
I saw my potential,
I don’t need a soul to give me water.
I will continue to grow….
My mind is set,
I have goals to target.
I will continue to grow,
without anyone’s help.
Ambitious is my middle name.
I’m not going to stop until I finish this game, called “Life”.
I’m not going to allow it to defeat me.
Get up every morning,
I look in the mirror,
saying these three sentences I hope will stick with me forever,
“I’m Beautiful, I’m Smart, I’m going to make it.”
Cheering my own self in case one day I ended up lonely.
I went to the interview, they said “NO.”
I applied for the scholarship, they said “NO.”
I email my crush,
told him that I like him,
asked him if he would like to be my boyfriend,
he said, “NO.”
Rejection and I have become acquainted.
He became a friend that I never wanted.
The most toxic person that ever came into my life.
But I’m going to fight him with all my might,
I’m not going to make him dim my light.
Several doors closed on me,
So I’m going to build my own door.
I have my talent,
I have my brain,
Rejection not going to stop me to get my gain.
I’m not going to give up,
broke life isn’t for me.
I’m going to make it,
I’m going to succeed.
She is crying for help..
Am I the only one hearing her?
I looked at her wrist, and realized that she fell in love with the razor.
Horizontal lines.. Stretching…
I can see the pain in her eyes..
A battle.. She is losing..
She is crying for help,
But no sound..
If you look closely, you can see she is about to drown..
In her depression..
In her anxiety…
Someone needs to rescue her,
Unfortunately it can’t be me…
Because I am drowning too, which is hard to believe.
Her tears are like acids, she can’t let them flow.
Her words are like bullets, she has to keep her mouth close.
Everything she touches dies,
Having her wonder, how the hell she still has a life.
She is crying for help, but nobody knows.
Mommy, you remember when you used to love me?
Cared for me?
Prayed that I came home to safety,
When I come home from school, you don’t even look at me….
You just drink from your bottle and start acting crazy.
You make yourself feel better by disrespecting me..
Calling me names, saying I’m worthless just like my daddy,
Then you have the nerve to blame society.
Do you know how it feels, whenever I look in the mirror I see you,
Why did I have to resemble you?
I want my mommy, but I don’t want you..
I want the mommy who made this house feel like a home,
I want my mommy who made me feel loved,
made sure I was never hungry,
she always cared for me..
I want my mommy
Getting beat up by bullies at school, then come home to get a beating from you …..
Plenty of time, I want to go
Either by rope or cut my wrist
But then I said no.
People always blame the daddies …..
The dead beat daddy.
You know how I look whenever I say my dead beat mommy
People think I”m weird
Because that saying is rare.
Being an adult at age 16 is not nice.
You ruined my childhood.
I’m here popping pills like they are candy.
Gotta look at my friends and say don’t judge me.
You ruined me, mommy,
And you don’t even regret it
It’s like I’m in foster care..
The thing is you’re the same woman but with a different man every night.
Moving from address to address.
Moving from book smart to street smart.
Because no-one is going to protect me
I have to protect myself.
The path you’re on,
One day you won’t exist, but it won’t matter, because I’m already used to it.
I want my mommy, but I don’t want you.
It kicked me in the knees, I fell to the ground.
It kicked me in my stomach, I fell to ground.
Everytime I got back up, life found a way to knocked me down.
Give up? Hell no..
Push through, thats all I know.
Mommy taught me better,
brush off your knees,
and fight harder.
You want that degree, work smarter.
You want that promotion, work smarter.
You want that job, work smarter.
Is not everyone is lucky enough to find good friends, but that don’t mean your life got to end.
Take that trip,
take that kiss..
You want a glass a wine, take that sip.
Life wasn’t meant to be easy..
So why complain?
Just do what you love and try be happy..
Life gonna get rough,
so why the hell you acting soft?
Be rougher, be tough.
And live this life, how the hell you want. 😊😍
This is a secret I will take to the grave.
Liking a man, I don’t even know his age.
His smile, I love that.
His touch, I want that.
His Kiss, I need that.
Sadly, he will never know…
A brown skin girl who is dying for them to be close.
I’m tempted to tell him, but I have too much pride.
I hate rejection,
and this is a future rejection I know I can avoid.
He has no interest,
So what is the point?
Of pouring out my feelings in a cup with so many joints.